Today I scheduled Lanie's Preschool assessment for placement into the 2011-12 school year... and while it is a month away (and the first day of school isn't until mid-August), I am shaken by the thought of it!
She is totally ready... beyond ready, in fact. But it will change my whole identity! I can't be a SAHM if no one is there to mother... so I will go back to work. WHAT?? The money is much needed, and I look forward to helping my family in that way for sure... I look forward to the adult interaction... I only hope I am able to find a job that still allows me my "full-time job"... that of wife and mother. I cannot lose touch with my family... that s my biggest fear!
Being home with my babies is the hardest job with the worst pay ----- and the best most rewarding benefits of any job I could ever have =)
So I do not tremble for letting my baby girl go (though a few tears will be shed... that I know!).... I do not fear her abilities, strength, or courage...
It is all about me, Damn it! I know how to be a mom and wife..... I don't know how to be anything else!
